But hey at least I’m on it! Hello, sorry I haven’t posted in ages. I’m so bad at doing this, I will post and then come back like years later. :/ I don’t know why because I really do love Tumblr. I really need to make the time and put in the effort.
My anxiety has come down a little, it’s a lot better than it was and the medication is helping although Citalopram, oh my days, you have the most trippy dreams ever and literally, one after another. Every night, I have about five dreams in a row and each one really strange. Take a few weeks ago, I was being held hostage at gunpoint in ASDA of all places, so random. I escaped though, lol. :P
I’ve been going to weekly CBT meetings/workshops which has other people with anxiety and depression there and it was dead awkward at first due to my social anxiety but I am getting more comfortable with the group as they all some really nice and it’s really wonderful to know you are not suffering alone. I’ve even contributed once or twice which is amazing as I would never do that normally. I just really hope this is the start of a new beginning for me and sure, I know I can never truly be free of anxiety and stress and be totally recovery but if I can improve to a standard which is manageable, I will be happy. :)
I’ve also been trying to just keep myself distracted from negative thoughts and emotions by jumping into writing and reading and just playing games and watching TV, anything really to keep me distracted and calm for the meanwhile.
I will hopefully post more on here as it may help me with my battle (I have to keep a diary anyway for the sessions) and thank you to all my followers, I hope you are all well and good. :)
- Luxvia - Chapter 25 - Remus Beyeler
Yet, lol! I apologize for not posting, my anxiety reached new heights where it was manifesting into physical symptoms. I just think the stress and anxiety of everything over the past few years has just caught up with me. I knew things couldn’t carry on the way they were so I reluctantly went to the doctors to seek help and I’m now on anti-anxiety medication, the side-effects are fun… not. Although I shouldn’t complain because it’s not as bad as some other people have got from the same medication that I am. I’m waiting on some anti-anxiety workshops although I have no idea how putting me in with a room full of people is going to help things but I’ll give it a go. I’ve been feeling a lot less anxious on a daily basis, I’m not worrying 24/7 like I used to but still, I have major anxiety when it comes to things like being social, public transportation etc. I was hoping for counselling because I want to discuss things 1-to-1 in private so I’m going to ask my doctor if she can refer me.
So yeah, at the moment, my life is pretty much on hold, in limbo and yeah, I know deep down I should just be relaxing and focusing on getting better but parts of me just feel really lazy, good for nothing, unproductive etc. I should be finding work right now or training but I’m not and I know I’m not in the right frame of mind but I still feel bad. I think most of us, I just hate being unproductive, I like to do stuff. Luckily, I’ve had my writing to distract me and I’ve been jumping into reading again which is good.
I will try to post more on here and thank you to anyone who is following me (I don’t know why you would want to but hey, thanks anyway).
- Luxvia - Chapter 23 - James Lattimer